The Girl Who Knew No Love

Anastasia sat up and looked over at her love. She felt her heart swell as she remembered what they just shared together. She smiled.

“That was amazing,” she whispered, gently touching the back of his hand.

She was surprised when he pulled away and refused to look at her.

“Julian?” she felt a sickness in her belly as she tried again to touch him.

“Don’t,” he said softly.

Her heart squeezed and she found her small hand balled at her chest.

Her voice cracked as she spoke, “I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

Julian’s strong jaw clenched as he dared to look into her hazel eyes. It was a mistake, for looking at her brought back the feelings he had been trying so hard to diminish. He shouldn’t love her, he shouldn’t want her; he shouldn’t have made love to her. He closed his eyes tightly, then looked at her.

“What we did tonight was a mistake.”

Anastasia’s head shook violently as she heard those words. He couldn’t mean that. He had told her he loved her. He had promised her his heart and now?

“A mistake…”Anastasia tried to smile, to brush off the pain with nonchalance but it quaked her, broke her.

She looked down at herself clothed in only white linen sheets and sorrow. Had she just given herself to a man who didn’t truly love her? A man with raven hair and dark deceit.

“So, you lied to me?” Anastasia whispered, feeling her body begin to shake.

Julian turned his face away, feeling the war within him. The mistakes of his past haunted him and he knew he was no good for her. He would break her heart, it was better that it be now than later.

“You should go?”

“Not before you tell me what I did wrong!” Anastasia said, as sorrow mixed with anger.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing! Don’t you get it Ana! I don’t love you!” Julian yelled, moving off the bed and further away from her.

Coldness seeped into the cracks of her heart as she stared at his silhouette.

“You bastard, you…” A sob escaped her, racked her as she scrambled for her clothes.

She dressed swiftly, mindlessly, not knowing the man she loved watched her with sorrow filled eyes. She stumbled toward the door, drunken in grief. The night swam through her mind, his smile, his kiss. Anastasia looked back and found his back to her. The door slammed as she opened it and ran. She ran, hoping to leave behind what once was. She would run until the pain subsided. She ran into oblivion.

*****

Julian stared at the now empty doorway and felt the hot tears spill down his face. He walked toward the door and looked down as his foot brushed something silky. There lie a gorgeous, blue scarf…Ana’s. He picked it up with shaking hands and slumped down onto the bed.

“I’m so sorry Ana,” he whispered.

He brought the scarf to his face and breathed in her scent.

“Ana…”

But Anastasia was gone.

10 Years Later

Julian walked up the bright green hillside and stopped at the top. He looked out onto the city far below him and felt more alone than he had ever felt in his life. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a silky, blue scarf and brought it to his face. Smelt it and remembered. He looked out into the sky and felt the pain feel him again…the regret.

“I’m so sorry Ana.”

As the breeze came, he lifted his hands to the heavens and let go of the last he had of his young love. As the wind’s hands took the scarf from his, he watched in awe, as it danced.

“I love you, I really did love you,” he whispered, but Anastasia was gone, gone forever.